I am d biggest loser.

watching this show everyday..wow..inspired me so much..

cmne plak?..you are slim nadia..

*laughs.

i was FAT. for a couple of years..growing up..i gained weight during puberty years..then..i lost track of my life..mama pressured me to b thin. arwah tok. pastu adela lagi tah sape2.. haish..

"jgn mkn byk..jgn tambah...pegi lari lepas makan..jgn makan malam..pegi exercise petang2..."

life was hard..i was not pretty. i was not cute. i was wayy jauh dari HOT (ye abe haq)..pastu ade adik yang cantik sgt..dari kecik..been compared so many times..sedih..dia dah memang sejak lahir genetically beautiful physically..

yela..nadia..pendek..gelap..anak keling..gemuk...itu semua dulu*

but somthin happen in my life..yang i donno..i just CLICK..dis quest started 3 years ago..magically i lost up to 15 kg in a year..n looking unhealthy..

*orang cakap...

"eh kau sakit ek.,.."..."eh anorexia...!"..."you are sick.."

but then..sy da semakin matang..

..i dont wanna b kurus. i wanna b healthy.

and now im a healthy 51kg..3 years back i was 62kg.. =)

anddddd...physically fit!(no asthma no more..hiked gunungs. ran marathon)

what did i do?

*eat healthy..pastu amek nutrition..lagilah aware..

*exercise..notin else is needed..do weights..cardio..keep it up..trust me it works..

now my target is a sexy ass and nice abs...

i am a religious user of my dumbells..my babies..and its red..

*semangat!

(based on a true story. my story)

i am Charmed.

before u proceed may i remind u that this is a self analyzing process..

i know a lil bit more about me everyday.

Epiphany*

went to low yatt yesterday wit d siblings and was being my usual charming self of trying to get deals, flirting, using my confidence (OMG). absolutely my gedik switch was ON. while i was searching n dealing trying to find my k.i.v. new phone, i am at dis leng chai's booth..i didnt realise he is cute till i look up at him n not d phones in d glass casket..pehh..comel kalah mamat korea..pastu mulalah..strike up conversation bout which one is d best. which did he think suits me..blablablabla (GEDIK KAW). hanya usha phone. dont intend to buy it on d spot. n so i gave him a fake promise saying i'll come back for you(OMG.) then ask him for his name..and he said...louie..louise..somthing..cant recall..or i was partially deaf tetibe..(deng!) and walkaway.

i know i was flirting with him..and hena was like..

"gediknya kakak..u r flirting wit dat guy!..euw!.."

Oh well...being charming gets u the best things in life..being polite and friendly will make life brighter & happier not just for me but for others as well..

there is no wrong in just being yourself~

Ouch thats Hot..

reaction to "you are hot/cute/lawa nadia"..

facial expression :

mata rolling blakang. sengih perli. cheeks rose suddenly. smiling non-stop.

verbal expression :

ahhh..mane de.. / ala..biase je.. / erk..thanx?...

feelings :

hah..gile segannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. bye.

I see You

*in my heart.

you know.

i talk like a nenek sometimes.

but most of the time i am "bdk kecik" itu.

speaking maturely is a good thing but i prefer not to. everytime.

life is already too serious to add more burden to it.

you know.

sometimes i think too much.

i feel i am mature than everybody else.

but i dont want to. so i keep dat part of myself sink.

you know.

when u r beautiful.

it does not need convincing.

vainity is good but too much of it is.....

Allah can just take it away. HE could. After all. "semua yang baik itu dtg dr NYA"

You know.

when we feel down. we r d reason y we do dat.

excuses will make it worse. pick urself up.

life is what we want it to be. but then again.

we r human. emotions makes us stronger.

you know.

i miss my friends. i try my best not to loose dem.

i make an effort to not let us go.

deep down. we always think about each other..

you know.

ckin n ica paksa post.

i spend a week of turbulent funny gasp moment wit dem.

from sweet life of buaya emas to the chronicles of cikin..

oh tak lupa..ica da ada bini di perantauan.menanti kepulangannya.

*study makes my heart grow fonder. of life..

* jom exam ya!

REALLY?

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

true?

damn......

FoR you I will..

im planted on this earth to love people. to care for people. to enjoy life.

i noe my existence means something to someone.

and to know i matter in their life, makes me happy.contented.

i learned that when u give, u will get back.

and if u give more than what u got back, doesn't mean u must stop giving.

you give

you give

keep giving

the more you give. the better person you are.

i am a better person bcoz i believe

in giving

in loving

in caring

although sometimes it hurts

to care more than u should

i always believe that if we do not care,

then who will

OH

why d sudden burst of emotions

AHA

i got inspired when i gave cocot her massage

HURM

got a feeling. i did somthin good today. :)

WOI

pelik tahu tak tulis cmni

WOKEY

hopefully wont do dis taipo again

so...why must it be him?

as clock ticks and tocks..

i was left blurry and mentally not there..

and thus i stop everythin i was doin..

and ponder what went wrong with me brain..

please.

i dont ave problems.! i dont need anybody rescuing me.

i am not wanting of any superhero.

i live my life happily.

im sorry dat im independent enough...

then again..y should i be sorry..

at least im not some syco attention deprive desperado..

who have no backbone and base their life solely around a man(or men)..

*sakit mata..plus sakit hati..tgk perempuan itu sgt desperate..! have some dignity la woman...life is not about u dont ave a bf and suke laki org la ape la..cmnelah negara nak maju dgn org cmtu...urghh!

care to much. shit stop talking.

its internal affairs.

all talk is behind closed door.

seems like every door is shuttin close behind me..

kept blabbing bout everybody. i realised dat.

i must.i must. i must. stop.

word vomit. cant stop vomit. involuntary response.

since when did i become dis creature of nonstop chatter maniac?? ferocious gossiper/ the super mole spy agent????

ARGHH..fuck. dis is what i become..

oh my dear friends...

i talk becoz i feel good explainin things. gettin different views. wanting advice. helping people realize. creating bonds. less stress. pure joy.

when i go overboard with my words. do slap me.

i know sometimes my tongue is sharp a dagger.

blazing ur feelings without even lighting any flame. apologies in abundance.

but truly.

i talk coz i care. so should i stop now?

dont think so.