We usually do this right. In the rapid bus. On the way back to rah. Its 4pm. Kuala Lumpur. Long winding road with cars cars cars. Then we start talking. About how I cannot write nothing on my blog. Same ol same ol. I remembered twice before this. In the bus. We talked about this 'situation'. THIS 'situation'. I poured my heart aching soul about this agony of a 'situation' to you. And wallah, we are back here again. This thing I want to talk about has been swimming in my mind for these past couple of days. Mind you this is just an opinion of a very complicated mess up piece of muffin. haha.
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Either you marry your best friend or someone who takes care of you. Choose.
I FINALLY realized this truth of a fact. It is I, me Nadia anak perempuan Zambri would prefer my best friend as my companion. The person I want to be with, in a relationship with, in other words; kapel laki bini rumah tangga aaaa hubungan cinta forever afterlife, I prefer that someone to be my best friend. You know best friend here means orang yang kita kenal gila babeng like we really can usik each other like crazy and being brutally totally honest is the most special thing.
You can be in a relationship where he takes care of you like menatang minyak yang penuh, do not want to hurt you, promise you the moon and catch a grenade for ya..That is wonderful really. Splendid. But to me relationship is about being honest. And being honest here means being yourself.
We have all been there right. Saying nice things and doing nice gesture just because we want that other person to be happy. All is pretty and beautiful and polite and fairytale, its too good to be true. We do not like his actions or the way she merajuk all the time without no apparent reason BUT still kita tak cakap apa yang terbuku di hati because nak menjaga hatinya. We put honest di belakang. So semua yang hitam itu kita simpan dalam-dalam. Lama-lama apa? Heart starts to ache. We start to get hurt. Typical.
If we date our best friend, we tell him everything. Being honest is a must. He can accept us for what we are and we can be ourself because of him. A best friend will always take care of you. That is a fact. And picturing our lives together, taunting each other at the age of 55, is the best thing I can ever wish for. What I am about to say next is a bomb. But I have to because, it is the truth.
I once had a relationship with a guy who knows me for me. And I do know him for him. He is the only guy I have been screaming and meroyan-royan to on the phone. Usually I fake myself into being a sweet talker chic. But with him, I am the worst ever mulut lepas. haha. We can talked for hours. Sometimes not saying anything pun. But I donno. I really know him. I just do. We basically stopped because I was falling in love with him. Yerghh. (
To orang yang bernama A anak kepada Mustafa, I miss you so much. I miss talking to you and I miss being myself. I should not say this now but you know me, I mean every word I say. Although we ended, I always think of you in class and masa lintas jalan and masa dengar lagu melayu jiwang. I hope you are happy with your new love. Jangan emo sangat. Banyak-banyak tukar profile picture pelakon sinetron alim alim ya. Supaya hati tenang okay.
I do not need oxygen to breathe. I need honesty. That's how I live.
* Feels good I have done this. Thank you hanisah for being honest with me lately. I needed that.
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