Hidayah

Is an arabic word meaning 'guidance' given by Allah. 


             We start with a sworn statement : Aku hina. Hina. Hina. Ok. That is true. No wait. Its true. I know hina is perkataan yang terlalu-lalu BUT I feel that way about myself. As a muslim, my friend said its normal to feel this way. Bagus. What you are feeling is between you and God. Kita selalu lupa that we have a relationship with Allah. After all He is the reason we existed. 
               Jap. Here I meant to share with you a problem. I always nasihat orang hebat. Always say the right things to people. But to apply it to myself is freaking hard. I struggle with this. I do not feel nobody is going to help me. Tambah dengan degil stubborn gila punya. Nadia wont listen. No matter what you say. Or people will say, nadia dah tahu apa nak buat. Sigh. 
             Sebenarnya, I am human. I need guidance. I need help. I do wrong. I make sins. I am lost. Sometimes I feel its hard for me to get out of this because I really cannot do it on my own. That is one of the reason why I like to help people. I know how it feels like when nobody is going to help you. Its sad really. Very depressing. Very not nice. When you feel hopeless, you want someone to give you hope. When you feel lost, you want someone to come find you. When you feel bad, you need someone to tell you not to. When you are down, you want someone to be there with you. 
                 I always tell people to cheer up be positive be happy grow up live life. But di sebalik this strong independent fun girl is a hina person. I am trying to change. I am far away but slowly. Slowly. InsyaAllah. 
             




*Something happened a few days back that really goncang my iman. Petunjuk hidayah.