Sick

Been very sick.

When you are sick, you want to be taken care off. But when I was sick at home, I took care of myself and everybody else because my family always feel I can. It teaches you to be stronger inside and dig deeper when you are at your most weakest..you tend to hang on to yourself. You may give up hope but God won't give you this 'pleasure', this 'lesson' if HE  thinks you CANNOT. The down side of being the person who CAN is loneliness of fighting it on your own. Sometimes you just want a person to look at you and care for you when you are sick.
              Yes, I was sick. Yes, I was being very brave and strong. Yes, I cried myself to sleep because I do not want to 'worry' my parents. Yes, I pretend I can handle it because I am not a cry baby like my brother. Yes, I would like someone to notice I needed attention. Yes, I miss icah because she took care of me when I was sick dulu-dulu. Yes, I miss not being at home and being with my friends because they will pay attention and caring bagai minyak yang penuh. Yes, with them I am weak. Yes, I need you. Yes, I am merengek here now.



But I am no cry baby. This storm shall pass soon.



*Still trauma to eat. Lost 3 kg just like that. This is not a good way to lose weight. At all.