L is for the way you look at me.

dengan ini aku mahu mengjiwangkan diri*
i see love as something very natural. you just cant explain how 'love' manifest in your heart and chronically consumes you. you see love before you open your eyes every morning, feel love in every single heartbeat and the final thought of the day is love. 'Love' is a silly thing. 'Love' is a crazy feeling. 'Love' is so heartbreaking. aku tahu cinta tu complicated. at so many levels. lately, i feel out of love. finding love is hard but finding mutual love is way harder. sometimes i think i'm not meant to be loved. i'll waste my time wanting someone who will never want me. yeah. pathetic i know. but i dont go for cheap love or 'redha' love or sympathy love or rebound love. i need someone who excites me and make me wanna wake up to his good morning everyday. kalau nak rasa "bercinta", dah seribu kali dah 'kapel'..tapi..itu bukan aku. i dont want 'try and error'. i want it to be OBA. one best answer. kadang-kadang aku rasa, aku tak berani jatuh cinta. because we become a totally different being when we are infected with love. kita jadi emo tak tentu pasal. kita akan jiwang geli tahap dewa luar biasa. kita cam pesakit mental asyik senyum tak henti-henti. start post ngarut2 kat facebook. focus lari asyik teringat 'cinta'. terpandang tiang goal, terdengar lagu, tertengok drama kat tv, terbaca artikel merepek pasal cinta, kita mula relate everything in our life dengan 'dia'. 'cinta' lah segala-galanya. lalu ada yang mula lupa kawan-kawan para sahabat. i dont mind being in love but if love starts to disrupt the wonderful life i have now, i rather stay idle. stagnant. inactive. kan?


oh oh. aku mangsa panahan cinta..i lost the passion because he was the best i never had...