The Anticipated Return of Amidala

Last post was 5 months ago.

Times flies. I mean it flew away in a blink. Did we just blinked it away? Did 5 months really happened? Did I just left this place to rot? Did I miss anything here? Clearly I had. Clearly I did. Time. We say 'we have no time', we say "time just went away', we say 'eh tetibe dah lupa pastu bye bye'. Talking about time is serious shit. I am 5 months older (wiser I hope). Clearly, 5 months ago I was in a different struggle and battle of life. Now I am looking at possibly a scary exciting future ahead. Firstly, my book is now under a publisher. Woohooo. Alhamdulillah. Waiting for the book to be on the shelves. Soon. Woohooo. Secondly, I quit my barista job. Sad. I love that job. Dearly. It was humbling and fun. Never thought that I spent half a year doing what I always wanted to do. Best yet, I earned a humbling pile of fortune for myself. Not much but my piggy bank grew fatter after my coffee job stint. Duit untuk rasa hidup. I called it, "tabung kehidupan". Used it for experiencing life. So far okaylah. Di samping itu, how about love? Any good news? Ahahaha. Let's just say, if i ask your alamat rumah out of the blue, dah nak kahwin lah tu. I promise myself to personally hantar semua jemputan, sekeping kad. Barulah formal, proper sikit kan? Takat invite kat facebook, tak sampai niat tu. Lebih afdal hantar kad. Eceh. Tak boleh belah langsung. Macam kahwin esok. Menggelabah mintak alamat orang poslaju semua. Marah posmen-posmen semalaya.



Akhirnya, you people still read my crap. You guys are too nice. hahaha.

Hilang

Kadang-kadang menulis dalam bahasa bercampor. 

              I think i'm getting old. Because people now kiri kanan depan belakang semua handphone canggih bapak hang. There is this one time in the train, this really really really pregnant lady came in and was left there standing all the way because 'young strong' looking sitting people was preoccupied with their smartphones. I know. One of them; at least; have the kindness badge in them if only they look up at this kakak yang sarat ni. But poor poor dear. Nobody noticed her because semua sibuk facebook, instagram, templerun dan sewaktu denganya. Aku rasa aku tua sebab dalam hati ni tengah membebel-bebel cam orang tua kat manusia-manusia alpa ni. Malang sekali I did not have the guts to asked one of them to give this akak a seat. At the end of the day, I was not helping the cause. I was being an onlooker yang tak guna. 

           And there was this one time dekat mamak, a family of three; bapak, mak dan anak kecil. Biasalah makan malam keluarga yang tak masak. Anak jenis tak duduk diam lalu disogok dengan ipad. Bapak main note. Mak pula ada samsung. I just watched them. Not talking to each other. Masing-masing preoccupied dengan kecanggihan yang canggih. Then bila anak naik bosan, nak itu nak ini, mak boleh pass kat bapak sebab maknya tengah nak highscore game kat ipad. Sedih betul aku tengok. Lalu anak itu, wandering around the mamak pusing-pusing meja. Mak dan bapak maintain dengan gajet canggih masing-masing. Serious, aku kagum dengan kealpaan ini. 

           I am not saying all this technology is bad for us. Malahan, anak-anak kecil sekarang pandai tak terkata bab-bab gajet-gajet canggih. But itulah. There is always the negative side of things. This is the main reason why I am not a 'gadget' person. Sampai sekarang masih tak teringin untuk memiliki keindahan teknologi tersebut. The second reason why is, bab-bab komputer Nadia bimbo sikit. True. So bila main touch skrin tu, rasa cam pengalaman paling dasyat sekali dalam hidup ini. Mohon jangan cakap aku buruk siku jika satu hari nanti aku beli smartphone. Sebenarnya dalam hati ni membuak-buak nak ishtagram gambar camwhore sendiri sampai ramai followers jadi unfollow! Hahahhahaaa. 

*I don't do mainstream. I just like taking the weird road. 

Lost in the Ocean

How I wish I could swim faster.

Story 1

              Once upon a time work has been busy. Busy. Ada satu hari tu, customer datang tak henti-henti. And I was doing this and that and this and that until one point, I had to go back and take a deep breath. My head was spinning. Dalam otak, heyy mambang nadia. Tak cukup air ke. Dehydrated ni. I went to the vending machine hoping for mineral water tapi malang habis. Then terpaksa beli burst oren. Dalam hati. Aku dehidrasi. I do not want any sweeten drinks. Tapi anything lah. Opened the bottle, empty it's content in a huge mug, top-up dengan air biasa and ice. Minum in one gulp. And you know how it feels like after that?

Bliss. Rejuvenated. Revamp. Refresh. Total rebirth.

Story 2

               After a long tiring day at work, Abah said he'd come pick me up with his bike. I was like, yes. Thank you Ya Allah. Sebenarnya, dalam hati selalu cam tak berapa gemar nak naik motor ni. Abah is a biker. A real biker. But he likes to change bikes every now and then. So far, his best bike was his virago. I love that bike, besar, selesa, bunyi gempak, semua pandang. Tension gila. But since that big bike, Abah tukar motor KSR kecik, then now a corny yellow superbike. He came with that yellow bike. Nadia punya malu, jalan sampai sidewalk depan office so that Abah's bike tak buat scene. Yela. "Weyhhhhh bapak kau cool, naik motor besar. Gila kaya. Gila gempak." Yep. I get that a lot. Personally, I prefer people not knowing my dad is a biker. His interest is something pawerrrr la untuk orang warga emas. Tapi aku tak suka propa sangat kat kalayak ramai. Oh. To make this story short, I had a longgggggg dayyyyy and bila Abah amek and took me on a ride of my life, 150km/hour on his superbike kat mex, I was flying. And you know how it feels like after that?

Awesome. High. Mati pun tak kisah. Adrenalin is morphine. I get it now.

Story 3

             I have a huge project on my shoulder. BIG. This is life changing. Ke-gempakan-ku depends on this book deal. But. But. I am tired. Nearly 2 years working on this. Sometimes i just want to stop. Quit. Banyak kali woi. Banyak kali sangat. Depression. Stress. Tension. Bila 'projek' ini datang kembali menghantui hidup ini, my eyes water. My heart went to the deepest darkest place. I wanted the earth to swallow me. Please. Swallow me. Bila rasa macam ni, I went to you. Knowing you would make me feel better. But that was a huge mistake. Moral of the story is; lahir kat dunia ni sendiri, mampos pun sendiri. And you know how it feels like after that?

Keraskan hati. You have to. Be strong. You are on your own now.

Story 4

             It has been some time man. Since I felt something in my heart. Too bad we always deny what we have for each other because we say, being hurt is a lost for both of us. But aku peninglah bila aku camni. Cam tahi. But I like having you around. Having someone who cares. And you know how it feels like after that?

Are we. Arent we. Limbo. Sucks.



*Sekian sahaja cerita dongeng untuk hari ini. 
             

So Much Heart

A mini update.

Been working now, a month and months. It has been a pleasant experience.

Jap. Let me rephrase.

Work has been ABSOLUTELY AMAZING (in a very good way, no sarcastic note intended). Come on. I love coffee like my life depends on it. It is my life. It always have been. So to be given an opportunity to widen my knowledge about coffee and to make me have barista epic skills is a dream come true. Aku bahagia sekarang. Aku selesa. Aku gembira dengan kerja. People say do what you love (so i went for it), and getting paid doing what you love is clearly a life worth living for. Just. Aku takut satu benda je sekarang. I am afraid I love my job so much, I do not want to quit this. This life. This environment. This free coffee. This regular customers I came to know and love. This people who appreciate coffee. This brand name who take coffee seriously. This best coffee, hands down.

                    People around me know, I am so much bigger than this. It's okay. I know that too. I know I should move on to bigger and better horizon. But so far so good. Being here is humbling. Being here is the dream. Do not fuss. I am secretly planning to take over the world soon! You'll see me doing that. You will. And I just want to say; do what you love. If you donno yet, ask HIM. HE knows. Because HE showed me how to. =)


* Smiling because coffee is cure. 

Au lait

Is actually a type of coffee. 

So far work has been fun. I learned a lot in the short time here. I told my supervisor, its like playing diner dash but in real life. I love the fast pace, crunch time make sandwich in 2 minute window period. Adrenalin gila. haha. 

For your information, I work in a coffee shop. Yes kedai kopi. I know I am overqualified for the job but I really want to test myself working in this kind of environment. Having a degree does not make you a better person actually. You can say we may have an advantage in terms of IQ or EQ levels but in my opinion it does not matter at all. Ia hanya sekeping kertas yang menunjukkan aku telah belajar sampai menara gading. Adakah degree ini dapat membuat aku basuh pinggan dengan lebih laju? Adakah degree ini membuat aku pandai masak? Adakah degree ini membuat aku pandai berinteraksi dengan mat salleh? Adakah degree ini ajar aku untuk selalu bersangka baik terhadap orang? Mungkin. Ada. Sedikit dan banyak. Walaupun some people might think I am doing "kerja lepasan SPM" but aku tak kisah because being around coffee is a dream come true. Working with coffee is something I always wanted to do. So far so good lah. Getting paid for having the best job in the world is pure happiness. 

*If you give me a choice between 4flat CGPA or making coffee using a professional espresso machine; I'll pick coffee every single time. Yeah. Happiness is a choice.